Charlie’s Diary: Hi, I’m Charlie the Spaniel

My name is Charlie and I’m nearly seven weeks old. Last week I left my real mummy and brothers and sisters and came to live with my new mum and new dad. I’m a Cocker Spaniel according to Uncle Bill Kitson (he’s a famous writer you know!) – either that or I’m a really good impersonator, he said. I don’t know though; my new mum sometimes calls me a little bugger, so I’m a bit confused.

It’s great in this new home because my new mum and new dad don’t have anybody else living with them, so I don’t have to share anything, like I had to with my brothers and sisters. It took me a few days to get used to it but now I can sit safely in front of my bowl and eat an entire meal in peace – no more grabbing for food and taking it into a quiet corner before someone pinches it.

It gets very complicated sometimes though. After I’ve eaten or been running around or have just woken up, my new mum picks me up, takes me outside and plonks me on a piece of newspaper on the ground. I really don’t understand why she does this. It’s very odd – I thought newspapers were for reading and obviously I can’t read. I keep trying to walk away but she just picks me up again and plonks me back on the newspaper. One day, I got so bored of this game and thought I’d teach her a lesson so that maybe she’d stop doing it. So I relieved myself on the newspaper. Weirdly though, she got really excited about it – strange woman! She kept calling me ‘good boy’ and stroking my fur and patting me. I think she can’t be right in the head, but hey, anything for a quite life – so now and then I try to make her happy like that again and relieve myself on the newspaper.

The other weird thing is that they’ve been trying very hard to make me sleep in this new bed they bought for me. It’s really lovely, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not used to sleeping on my own. I’ve always snuggled up into my real mummy’s fur and now that I’m not with her anymore, I get worried that my new mum and new dad might leave me as well, so I try and snuggle up with them to sleep. At night they keep putting me into my new bed but I keep sneaking back out and looking for them. It took me a few days to realise that they weren’t going to leave me while I was sleeping, so I started staying in it all night long. It really is very cosy, I don’t know why I didn’t do it before. So I’m just getting used to this nice comfy, warm bed and then something really strange happens. Yesterday I was so tired I couldn’t keep my eyes open and I took myself off to bed about 7pm. Then new mum came and took me out of it! What the hell’s going on? I thought you wanted me to sleep in it..? To make matters worse, the stupid woman then starts trying to play games with me. I just wanted to be left alone to get back in my comfy bed and go to sleep. New dad was telling her to leave me alone but new mum was saying it was too early for me to go to sleep as I wouldn’t go through the night. What is she on about..? I’m not likely to be going anywhere on my own yet, let alone through the night – I haven’t had my injections yet.

I think it’s going to take me a while to get used to this new home and these strange people….